Learn to fight lust, get free and follow Jesus.

  • A clear plan to lead your group

  • Question & discussion guide

  • Videos to play before each lesson

  • Free for group leaders

Request Coaching Guide

Learn to fight lust, get free and follow Jesus.

  • A clear plan to lead your group

  • Question & discussion guide

  • Videos to play before each lesson

  • Free for group leaders

Request Coaching Guide

Leader Training Podcasts

Big picture view from men who have led many Dangerous Men groups

Apply now for Dangerous Leadership Training, July 18-21, 2019, in Colorado.

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The Destructive Power of Porn

Here is a summary of Christian and secular research about the negative impact of porn.

Porn destroys marriages

  • Porn use increases the marital infidelity rate by more than 300%
  • 56% of American divorces involve an “obsessive interest” in porn websites

Christian men are stuck in the grip of porn

  • 64% of church going men view porn at least monthly
  • 1 in 5 youth pastors use porn on a regular basis

Porn destroys healthy sexual development

  • By the age of 12, the average American child has seen explicit porn
  • The largest consumer of online porn is 13-24 year old’s whose brains are still developing

Porn destroys real sex

  • Regular porn sets unrealistic and aggressive expectations for sexual intercourse
  • More than half of porn scenes contain acts of physical or verbal aggression.

Porn destroys erections

  • Studies have found an increased erectile dysfunction in “fit and healthy young men”
  • Investigative journalist Jon Ronson claims a 1000% increase in E.D. since the ascent of free streaming porn sites.
  • A 2014 study found that compulsive porn users had erectile difficulties in human intimate relationships…but not with porn.

Porn use makes you less productive

  • A 2015 study correlated porn use with decreased academic performance.
  • A 2013 German study found that porn decreased “working memory” (the ability to keep information in mind to complete a task).
  • Arousal Addiction from online porn can mimic the symptoms of ADHD, social anxiety, and depression.

Sources
2019 Covenant Eyes, Inc., Research by The Barna Group, The Butterfly Effect by Jon Ronson, Mashable.com, and other articles.

Disclaimer
This is not an exhaustive list. Additionally, there are differing opinions in scientific research between porn use and impacts on brain function and erectile dysfunction. There are also varied interpretations of the term erectile dysfunction in differing surveys.

In our experience in this ministry we do believe that porn use as a serous negative impact on the lives of young men.

This information is intended to highlight risks of porn, not to serve as a diagnosis or scientific literature review. If you are experiencing physical illness or psychological difficulties, please contact a clinical professional.

Additional Resources

Group Leader Help
How to Start a Group
FAQs

How to lock down your iPhone/iPad

  • 1. Go to Settings>Screen Time>Content and Privacy Restrictions

    (NOTE: applies to iOS 12 and later)

  • 2. Turn Content & Privacy Restrictions ON

  • 3. Go to iTunes & App Store Purchases

    – Turn Installing Apps OFF

    (other options on this screen are up to you)

  • 4. Go to Allowed Apps

    – Turn Safari OFF

    (NOTE: If you require access to some websites, you can leave Safari on and whitelist only the websites you need later on in this guide)

  • 5. Go to Content Restrictions

    It may be a good idea to restrict some of the content on this screen, depending on what apps you plan to use.

    • If you decided to leave Safari on:
      Go to Web Content and select Allowed Websites Only
    • Add any websites that you require to this list (websites for school, work, etc.)
    • In our experience, selecting Limit Adult Websites simply does not do a good job of blocking adult websites. Blocking all websites except for the ones that you explicitly allow will make this defensive strategy much more effective.
  • 6. Return to the main Screen Time menu

  • 7. Turn Use Screen Time Passcode ON

    – Give your phone to an accountability partner to set a password

It may also be a good idea now to delete any apps from your phone that you think are causing sin or fueling addictions in other areas of your life.

  • For example, if browsing Instagram is a huge gateway to lust for you, then remove the app!  Anything that you may miss out on by deleting is more than worth it if it helps you achieve a greater level of freedom from lust.
  • Be honest with yourself–you know yourself you know which apps you could use to circumvent these measures.  Take the necessary steps now to put yourself in the best position possible to overcome this struggle with lust–not as a punishment to yourself but as a strategy to fight this battle.
  • Think about other addictions that you might have on your phone: Youtube, Netflix, checking the stock market…it could be anything.

We don’t lock our phone down and give someone else the key so that they can be a cop to us; that is not what healthy accountability looks like.  Allow these strategies to be something that serves simply as a roadblock to the temptations that you know from experience trip you up regularly, and not as a replacement to healthy, loving, personal accountability with a friend.  These strategies are not our first line of defense–that will always be fighting spiritually first.  Keep the mentality of taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.  (2 Cor 10:5).  If they are lustful, renounce the lustful temptation, and if it had become a desire in your heart (James 1:13-15), then confess it, accept your forgiveness, share your struggle with your fighting partner and pray together (James 5:16).  Fight the fight together and take Joy in the steps together towards a better relationship with Jesus–that is the goal of all of this after all.

Parents, we understand your desire for your sons and daughters to be free from the temptation to lust and porn–you want to steer them away from sin and harm, that is fantastic!  If you are going to enforce restrictions like this for your child this could be a great opportunity to not merely be an authority in their life but also help them overcome this sin that has taken root in their life.  Restricting access is a good defensive strategy but you also need an offensive strategy. Do this with your child and explain why we need these helps.

The Dangerous Men or Unveil for women books give you practical offensive strategies.   This is an issue that most likely goes deeper than a physical desire, and may require greater amounts of healing in more areas of their life. Take this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them and help them walk towards change in their life.  You can learn how to fight spiritually, how to actually take a through captive to Jesus and much more.  The result with be much deeper healing than just trying to control (which is impossible anyway) what they see.

How to lock down your iPhone/iPad

  • 1. Go to Settings>Screen Time>Content and Privacy Restrictions

    (NOTE: applies to iOS 12 and later)

  • 2. Turn Content & Privacy Restrictions ON

  • 3. Go to iTunes & App Store Purchases

    – Turn Installing Apps OFF

    (other options on this screen are up to you)

  • 4. Go to Allowed Apps

    – Turn Safari OFF

    (NOTE: If you require access to some websites, you can leave Safari on and whitelist only the websites you need later on in this guide)

  • 5. Go to Content Restrictions

    It may be a good idea to restrict some of the content on this screen, depending on what apps you plan to use.

    • If you decided to leave Safari on:
      Go to Web Content and select Allowed Websites Only
    • Add any websites that you require to this list (websites for school, work, etc.)
    • In our experience, selecting Limit Adult Websites simply does not do a good job of blocking adult websites. Blocking all websites except for the ones that you explicitly allow will make this defensive strategy much more effective.
  • 6. Return to the main Screen Time menu

  • 7. Turn Use Screen Time Passcode ON

    – Give your phone to an accountability partner to set a password

It may also be a good idea now to delete any apps from your phone that you think are causing sin or fueling addictions in other areas of your life.

  • For example, if browsing Instagram is a huge gateway to lust for you, then remove the app!  Anything that you may miss out on by deleting is more than worth it if it helps you achieve a greater level of freedom from lust.
  • Be honest with yourself–you know yourself you know which apps you could use to circumvent these measures.  Take the necessary steps now to put yourself in the best position possible to overcome this struggle with lust–not as a punishment to yourself but as a strategy to fight this battle.
  • Think about other addictions that you might have on your phone: Youtube, Netflix, checking the stock market…it could be anything.

We don’t lock our phone down and give someone else the key so that they can be a cop to us; that is not what healthy accountability looks like.  Allow these strategies to be something that serves simply as a roadblock to the temptations that you know from experience trip you up regularly, and not as a replacement to healthy, loving, personal accountability with a friend.  These strategies are not our first line of defense–that will always be fighting spiritually first.  Keep the mentality of taking every thought captive and making it obedient to Christ.  (2 Cor 10:5).  If they are lustful, renounce the lustful temptation, and if it had become a desire in your heart (James 1:13-15), then confess it, accept your forgiveness, share your struggle with your fighting partner and pray together (James 5:16).  Fight the fight together and take Joy in the steps together towards a better relationship with Jesus–that is the goal of all of this after all.

Parents, we understand your desire for your sons and daughters to be free from the temptation to lust and porn–you want to steer them away from sin and harm, that is fantastic!  If you are going to enforce restrictions like this for your child this could be a great opportunity to not merely be an authority in their life but also help them overcome this sin that has taken root in their life.  Restricting access is a good defensive strategy but you also need an offensive strategy. Do this with your child and explain why we need these helps.

The Dangerous Men or Unveil for women books give you practical offensive strategies.   This is an issue that most likely goes deeper than a physical desire, and may require greater amounts of healing in more areas of their life. Take this as an opportunity to strengthen your relationship with them and help them walk towards change in their life.  You can learn how to fight spiritually, how to actually take a through captive to Jesus and much more.  The result with be much deeper healing than just trying to control (which is impossible anyway) what they see.

As partners, we fight with you.